Learning to Bend
On 12 years of Mothering
The one who opened my eyes,
who made me a mom
who made me realize
that nothing in this world would ever compare.
Nothing matters more than her safety and care.
Mothering’s taken me places I never thought I’d be.
Shown me things I never thought I’d see.
Twelve candles smoking, years keep going.
And the only steady truth is the constant knowing
that everything once stable is going to shift.
Everything I hold tighter is going to lift.
Release the guise of control, come what may.
Hold on to her words at every time of day.
Let go of the notion that I can make a “plan,”
setting a target and knowing where we land.
Embrace the direction each path will lead,
even when rerouting makes my heart bleed.
Eventually we end up right where we belong,
bearing old scars and fresh bruises—
but even more strong.
She calls out “Mom!”
Now in exasperation.
Outgrowing the age when
she was filled with adoration.
My patience strong today,
purring like a chicken into her hair
gets me a giggle and eyes rolling!
I wish I was always this aware.
Try to bookmark this moment—
her strike defused with love.
Can I manage such tenderness
every time she dons boxing gloves?
Unlearning the ways of my inner child’s path,
seeing we never stop growing.
Unless we choose its withering aftermath,
she’ll reap the seeds that we’re sowing.
She chose me to walk alongside her,
to embark on this journey of yearning.
Before I knew it, she’s the one guiding me,
practicing what we are learning.
Hiking where tall pines swing Clattering trunks sound like bones Heavy blowing winds ring Feeling their message in my bones: Remember to be flexible. Remember to go with the flow. Remember not every breeze will break me. It’s just gonna bend me a little bit more as a mother as a wife as a healer as a teacher This is the way it’s always been. This is the way it will always be. One step forward. Two steps back. The message echoing to me: Healing is not linear.
Beautiful, Leslie!